WWE Monday Night RAW Results
Roanoke, Virginia
May 6, 2013
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, JBL & Michael Cole
Report by: David Stephens of Wrestleview.com
The show opens with an intro video highlighting the fact Paul Heyman posted on Twitter that Brock Lesnar is in a breaking news mood tonight. Photos show Heyman at the WWE Headquarters earlier today with Lesnar. Exclusive footage will be shown later in the evening.
John Cena’s music hits and he is fresh off the heels of his heel injury which is being exploited by the almost heel-turned Ryback in their Extreme Rules match for which Cena has only two more weeks to heal.
Cena has the mic and says that everyone has questions. He is out here tonight to let the audience know that he will be competing against Ryback at Extreme Rules despite the injury. Cena embarks on a humor journey that contains Jersey Shore, Betty White & masturbatory references before sincerely confirming that he will defend his Title with all the fiber in his being.
Vickie Guerrero comes out for a bit of Cougar exposure. I don’t know what the proper name is for that type of dress she is wearing but I’m not a fan of the full length in the back and half-length in the front wardrobe choice. Vickie wants to assert some authority so she decides to bring Ryback down to the ring so that they can decide on the stipulation for the PPV match.
Vickie asks Cena for suggestions. Cena mocks Ryback’s recent promos and ultimately suggests a Vickie Guerrero’s granny panties on a pole match. Cena expels that he does not care what the stipulation is for their match.
Vickie addresses Ryback and says that she is not thrilled that he walked out of the main event last week. That being said Cena has granted him the ability to decide the stipulation for their match. Ryback launches into a very awkward promo that is clearly line for line the script that he was given. He finally reveals that to play on Cena’s week ankle he is choosing a Last Man Standing match.
****Commercial****
Damien Sandow enters for his match against Randy Orton. Orton is already in the ring. Sandow sings on his way down to the ring and it is fantastic.
Randy Orton v. Damien Sandow
Orton immediately punches Sandow in the face and drops him to the mat. Sandow tries to roll out of the ring for a reprieve but Orton follows right after. Orton punches again before delivering a back slam against the barricade. Orton tries to set Sandow up for a suspended DDT from the apron, but Sandow pushes him back into the barricade.
Both men are back in the ring and Orton pushes Sandow into the corner. Orton mounts him for a ten count punch. Sandow is down on the mat as Orton begins a sequence of stomping on his head. Cover, but Sandow kicks out.
****Commercial****
Back from the break Orton regains control and launches into his finishing sequence. Sandow recovers from a snap slam but is thwarted by a dropkick. Orton hits a suspended DDT. Damien groggily gets to his feet and Orton pins him in the middle of the ring. This match is over.
Winner via RKO: Randy Orton
****Commercial****
Chris Jericho makes his way down to the ring to welcome the audience to RAW is Jericho. Chris says that Fan-dumbo will make his way out soon. First he is going to introduce us to the judges that will be joining him at ringside. Brodus Clay and Sweet T dance down to the ring with the Funkadactyls. They sit at a table ringside.
Fandango makes his entrance and his female partner is not Summer Rae. The “judges” have number cares and give Fandango a modest 1.75 average score for his entrance.
R-Truth v. Fandango
They trade a few blows and go back and forth for a bit. Fandango is given another low score for his performance by the judges. Truth tosses Fandango out of the ring. Truth decides to dance a bit for the judges. Tensai and Jericho award him a 10. Clay seems unable to find his 10 so he holds up a 4 and a 2. Fandango is upset and walks out.
Winner via Count Out: R-Truth
Truth dances a bit after the match, but Jericho gives him a score of zero.
****Commercial****
Josh Mathews is in the back to interview Daniel Bryan. He asks Bryan about the fact that he was attacked by The Shield last week on Smackdown. Bryan says he is going to prove that attacking people three on one is not justice. Bryan says he is going to challenge The Ryback to a match tonight on RAW. Ryback comes into the shot and says that Bryan is in no position to compete tonight after he was attacked by the Shield. However, either way, Ryback’s answer would be no. He says that Bryan is half the man that he is. Kane appears in the shot and asks Ryback if he is half the man. Ryback proclaims that Kane is not the monster that he used to be. The only monster left in the WWE is Ryback. Ryback Rules.
****Commercial****
Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez v. Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee & Big E. Langston
After the initial exchanges the first turn in the match comes as Ziggler delivers a splash in the corner. Cover, but Alberto kicks out. Rio decides to take the aggressiveness up a notch and starts to work the arm of Ziggler. Rio looks for a suplex but Ziggler reverses into one of his own.
Rio fights back and sets Rio up against the second rope to knee him in the back. Rio delivers a backstabber that sends Ziggler sprawling out of the ring.
Swagger’s music hits and he makes his way down to ringside with Zeb Colter to join in on commentary for the rest of this match.
****Commercial****
Back from the break Ziggler drops a series of standing elbows. Ziggler gloats for a moment before leaping for one last elbow. Cover, but Rio kicks out. Ricardo tries to get the crowd involved from ringside as Ziggler a rear headlock applied. Rio is able to fight free. Ziggler is tossed up high into the air on a lift and crashes to the mat. Ziggler struggles to his feet in the corner. Rio attempts an enziguri but Ziggler moves out of the way. Rio follows through awkwardly and lands with his foot connecting to the exposed back of Ziggler’s head. Rio decides to go for a cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler is lifted to his feet, but counters into a swinging neckbreaker. Rio kicks out of the cover.
AJ is tightly clinging to the World Title at ringside. Ziggler is lifted up to the top turnbuckle with his back facing the ring. Rio hits a reversed Superplex that plants Ziggler squarely in the middle of the ring. Cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler tries to fight back but completely misses a hard splash in the corner. Rio responds with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rio sets up and connects with a kick to Dolph’s temple. Rio and Ziggler counter each other back and forth till Rio has control with the Cross Arm Breaker.
AJ jumps up on the apron for a distraction. Langston pulls Rio out of the ring and tosses him at Jack Swagger. The referee calls for the DQ.
Winner via DQ: Alberto Del Rio
Swagger gets to his feet and tosses Langston into the steel post. Swagger goes under the ring to grab a ladder. Ricardo attempts to stop Swagger but is tossed to the ground and then knocked back into the barricade with the ladder. Swagger gets into the ring and hits Rio and then absolutely demolishes the face of Ziggler with the ladder.
****Commercial****
Kaitlyn is in the back with the Funkadactyls. She is getting texts from her secret admirer. They egg her on her for details but she reveals that the admirer has not revealed his identity. Natalya walks up and also wants information. Kaitlyn explains that her admirer really understands her love for the Simpsons. Natalya tasks Khali with the challenge of going into the boys’ locker room and trying to find out the identity of Kaitlyn’s mystery man. Kaitlyn is not so sure of Khali’s chances but Natalya reminds her that Khali used to be a police officer in India.
****Commercial****
The Shield v. The Usos and Kofi Kingston
Ambrose and one of the Usos start the match. Uso is able to keep control and tags in his brother. Rollins attempts to make a save but is caught with an uppercut as he flies into the ring. Rollins apparently received the tag. Uso is in control until Rollins backs him into the corner and tags in Reigns. Roman delivers a few kicks before slamming the head of Uso into the mat and following with an arm lariat. Reigns brings in Ambrose and sets Uso up for dropkicks from both Ambrose and the freshly tagged Rollins.
Ambrose receives the tag and continues to work Uso in the corner. The control continues as Reigns and then Rollins are tagged to continue the isolation. Uso is finally able to make his way to the corner and tags in Kofi. Kingston is all sorts of fired up as he clears the ring of all Shield members. Kofi goes for a cover after a high leaping crossbody on Ambrose but The Shield embers kicks out. Both teams spill into the ring before sprawling to the outside. Ambrose hits a devastating DDT to end the match.
Winners: The Shield
****Commercial****
Antonio Cesaro v. Zack Ryder
Things do not get off to a great start for Ryder and the fight is almost entirely downhill from the start. Cesaro keeps Ryder grounded except for a short reprieve in which Ryder hits a dropkick. Cesaro tosses him up into the air for his signature uppercut. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer and this match is over. Cesaro finally wins a match on RAW.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
After the match Cesaro asks for the microphone. He says that he doesn’t always ask for the mic, but when he does he has something important to say. Cesaro asks if that is it. He asks if Ryder is all the competition that the company has for him. If so, that’s absolutely ridiculous. Cesaro says that he puts the “W” in WWE. There is nobody in the entire company on any of the shows who can hold a candle to what he can do in the ring.
****Commercial****
Paul Heyman appears live via satellite. He tells us that he is here to represent Lesnar. Earlier today he and Lesnar took a self-guided tour of WWE Headquarters. He rolls footage of their adventure. Lesnar makes his way to HHH’s office and completely trashes it. Heyman dubs his voice over the clip for entertainment value. Heyman says that he always has to discourage Brock Lesnar from such deeds, but HHH decided to pedigree Heyman on worldwide television. Heyman says that he will no longer discourage, instead he is going to encourage Lesnar to hurt HHH inside the steel cage.
HHH’s music hits and he makes his way out to the ring to respond. He addresses Heyman. HHH mocks Heyman for saying that he knows about extreme. HHH says that he knows a thing or two about extreme. He was a founding member of DX and knocked Lesnar out at Wrestlemania. Trips says that Heyman knew full well that he wouldn’t be at the Headquarters on a Monday. Heyman tries to retort but HHH cuts him off. HHH says that he has two offices. He has the one that Lesnar tore up, and he has the one in the middle of the ring. HHH promises to emerge victorious from the Extreme Rules encounter.
****Commercial****
Kaitlyn & The Funkadactyls def. The Bella Twins & AJ Lee
The Divas Champion picks up the win via pinfall on AJ Lee.
Winners: Kaitlyn & The Funkadactyls
****Commercial****
Mark Henry’s music this and he makes his way down to the ring. He mocks Sheamus and says that he doesn’t have to act tough like Sheamus with his poses. Henry says that he is going to show the audience what happens when Sheamus faces him. Mark Henry goads the crowd with “whats” and calls them a bunch of puppets. Clip rolls showing Henry attacking Sheamus on Smackdown last month.
Sheamus’ music hits and he comes down to the ring to respond. He shows a video of the times in recent memory that he has gain the upper hand over Henry including in the tug of war and arm wrestling matches. Sheamus says that he is a relaxed fella until the bell rings. Sheamus vows to take Henry out at Extreme Rules. Henry tells him that he doesn’t have to wait until Extreme Rules. Sheamus says he has waited long enough so they should get it on.
Wade Barrett’s music hits and he is out here for his match against Sheamus. Henry exits the ring.
****Commercial****
Sheamus v. Wade Barrett
Sheamus and Barrett get their match underway. It is a solid back and forth until the inevitable happens. Sheamus hits an unforgiving Brogue Kick to end the match.
Winner: Sheamus
Henry pulls a belt off of a security guard and gets into the ring. He whips Sheamus mercilessly both inside and outside the ring. Henry finally gains a bit of retribution for the cheap shots that Sheamus has delivered recently.
****Commercial****
Ryback v. Kane
Kane impresses early with his strength as he delivers a slam and goes for the pin. Ryback kicks out. Ryback clothesline Kane out of the ring but he lands on his feet and pulls out Ryback. Kane looks to whip him into the post but Ryback reverses and sends Kane crashing into the barricade as the show takes its last break of the night.
****Commercial****
Back from the break Ryback is in control Kane is getting to his feet in the corner. Ryback charges but Kane gets a boot up to block. Kane attempts a chokeslam but Ryback is able to break free. Kane is unfazed and hits a DDT. Cover, but Ryback kicks out. Kane whips Ryback into the corner and hits a splash. Ryback responds with a spinebuster in the middle of the ring. Ryback calls for the finish.
Kane counters Shell Shock with a suplex and goes for the cover. Ryback kicks out. Kane climbs up to the top rope and looks for the lariat. Ryback gets up to block until Kane pushes him back into the ring. Ryback runs into the ropes to knock Kane back down. Ryback has Kane in the corner and lifts him up for Shell Shock. Ryback brings him to the middle of the ring and hits his finisher. This finisher is over.
Winner: The Ryback
After the match, The Shield’s music hits. Bryan runs down to the ring to help out Kane. Ryback decides that rather than face The Shield he will duck out to the ringside area and watch. John Cena’s music hits and he too comes to the aid of The Big Red Machine. The Shield hits the ring. Ryback has a change of heart and grabs a steel chair. All hell breaks loose as a brawl breaks out in the ring. Cena is attacking Rollins until Ryback hits Cena with a chair from behind.
Ryback stands triumphant in the ring as he declares “Ryback Rules” to close the show.
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David Stephens
Follow me on Twitter! @TheDaveStephens