I know I’m late, I know. I’m sorry, but at least I got it in before bell time!
Extreme Rules is shaping up to be interesting, but one thing is definitely for certain. It has one of the most disgustingly booked ridiculous matches I have ever had the displeasure of writing about. With that in mind, let’s get down to picking the PPV, and culminate my first column in the “New Palace.” (I just moved out of the home I grew up in in to a new residence, same town, but new roof over me head.)
Miss Wrestlemania Hog Pen Match
Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero
I don’t care. I don’t want to see this match. I don’t even want to say anything more about this match.
Samoan Strap Match
CM Punk vs. Umaga
I gotta admit, seeing Punk hoist Umaga up for the GTS on friday night was absolutely impressive. However, this environment is difficult to predict. We all know Punk has a history of going insane with matches, as evident with his feud with Raven back in ROH, and other bloodbaths he’s had throughout his career. Question is, has he fought a talent the size and speed of Umaga in a match that is tailored to Umaga’s strengths?? Answer, I don’t believe so. As much as I like Punk, and I want to see Punk win, Punk winning friday night is just about a sure fire lock that he loses here on PPV.
WINNER: Umaga
WWE United States Championship Match
Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy
This is an amazing match. Four men who can absolutely go at an unbelievable pace. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if this steals the show. I am upset I missed Kingston’s winning of the US title, but I am happy he’s got a chance to run with it. I suspect MVP will be next up for the WWE Champion, and Regal and Hardy together have enough heel strength to make this a hell of a contest. I think Kingston will prevail, because I don’t see WWE changing many titles in such a short time. What I am questioning here is, yes, the four way is a hard match, but it’s not really extreme. We need a stip here. I don’t know what, but we need a stipulation here. Just a thought.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston
ECW Championship – Hardcore Rules
Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer
If the reports are true about Dreamer, I am wondering if WWE will give him the run he rightfully deserves one last time as ECW Champion. I believe it would be proper, as Dreamer has been loyal to the WWE’s version of ECW from the onset. This match is tailor made for Christian and Dreamer, and I think Swagger is out of his league here. I don’t see him really succeeding much in this type of match. I’ll take Dreamer to win, because I HOPE WWE does the honorable thing, and give Dreamer a final run with the silver strap.
WINNER: Tommy Dreamer
Submission Match
The Big Show vs. John Cena
The idea that Cena can’t apply the STF to the Big Show is a little absurd, but if it makes this match a little more intriguing, so be it. I think Show’s got a point of being upset if the report is right that he was unhappy when he was blasted out of the ring recently by Cena and Batista. Whatever the case may be, this is going to be an interesting match to see how Big Show is able to get Cena to give up. Personally, I don’t see it. I think Cena will figure out a way to make Big Show submit in the STF, one way or the other. Facts behind this, none. Hunch, indeed.
WINNER: John Cena
WWE Intercontinental Championship – No Holds Barred
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
This match obviously favors the challenger, but Mysterio has been an overachieving champion and talent from the first day he stepped in to World Wrestling Entertainment. I think the streak of overachieving will continue. Mysterio wins, because I don’t see Jericho figuring out a way to unmask the lucha champion. It would be an absolute travesty if that were to happen.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio
WWE Championship – Steel Cage Match
Batista vs. Randy Orton
The belts are going to stay with their owners for a while. I don’t see any other way around that. Batista is not pushed hard enough to be a champion at this time, and if there’s anyone on the Raw roster poised to become a new WWE Champion, it’s not Batista, it’s MVP. I believe Orton retains, one way or the other, but this one will hurt, and hurt a lot.
World Heavyweight Championship – Ladder Match
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
With all the talk of Jeff taking serious time off in the near future, I don’t see Edge losing this match. This one has the possibility to really good, or really bad. I don’t think there’s a middle ground here in any way. I suspect this will be a tremendous matchup. Not much else can be said. Edge + Jeff Hardy + Ladders = Good Matches. End of story.
WINNER: Edge
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