From the Desk of Mr. V #27
August 6, 2009
By: Anthony J. Valvo of WrestleView.com
Well, hello there class! As you all know, I am the resident teacher here for WrestleView and I welcome you to another column!
Please excuse me for being excited, as I smell something that might be almost as good as a steak on a charcoal grill. It’s that smell that make adults jump for joy and it makes the kids push that plate aside and say ?Yuck?! Yes, it is that Back To School Smell! Oh yes, the maintenance crews in every school are making sure everything is in tip top shape for the upcoming year. Anyways, back to why I am on here. A lot of the same things are planned as I wrap up the summer vacation portion of my column. So enough with the introductions this week. I am Mr. V…you are the student (or reader)…and this is From the Desk of Mr. V.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
I can?t think of a quote, but rather a song! This will be a theme that I hope the teenagers and college students enjoy. To the teachers and parents, I think you will find this YouTube clip to your liking.
It’s the 13th Anniversary of the famous ?It’s the Most Wonderful Time?? commercial from Staples. Enjoy this clip and then follow me to the classroom rules.
Just to let you know, I can?t wait until my child gets older and moans about school starting. I will be singing this song every year until the end of the college years.
CLASSROOM RULES (Present By: WV reader Jamel Watson! Because he requested one week ago and I completely forgot to do it!)
71) If you’re going to make a new tag team from two singles wrestlers, put some serious thought into it before you go mixing their theme songs together. (From Bond7)
Student’s Take: Thought I’d give you another rule concerning something I saw, or I should say heard, from tonight’s Smackdown. It involved Chris Jericho and Big Show when they came out and berated Cryme Tyme after they had won their match. It would seem that we, yet again, have another tag team made up of singles wrestlers and WWE took it upon themselves to mix their theme songs together. What do you get when you mix Jericho’s rock theme with Show’s blues theme? What do you think? Ugh! I’m still trying to pry that sound out of my ears with a Q-tip. Not a pleasant mixture to say the least. At least when they mixed Edge’s and Orton’s theme songs together with Rated RKO it sounded halfway decent, mainly because they both had rock and roll themes. And it’s been done other times, mostly with disastrous results.
Mr. V’s Take: I got this e-mail before I actually watched Smackdown. I thought it could not be bad. After listening to it Friday Night, it sounded awful. It sounded like the CD player needed cleaned or something, as I heard the word ?Big? as many times as ?Money? in Donald Trump’s RAW theme. It sounded like the time Milli Vanilli got busted for lip synching ?Girl You Know It’s True?. Still, I thought it was terrible. It may be the worst theme I ever heard, and I am including Rico’s music from a few years ago!
The perfect remedy? It is not to harm your ears with a Q-Tip (you may puncture your eardrum doing that). They remedy is to listen to an awesome theme that does not have any words, such as Chris Masters? theme music. It makes want to flex my muscles for at least two minutes while I am hearing that song. It is calm, soothing, and no risks of harming your ears.
Well, that is the only rule I got in my mail box this week. If you have a rule that should be enforced, please e-mail the rule at mistervwv@yahoo.com. Students have only three more weeks to do this until Mr. V finally takes over that section once again.
HEADLINES!
I hate to say this, but I thought Wrestling News was pretty light. I mean, we know that Jeff had relations with Karen. We know that Vince is probably ripping his hair out at the current product. Most of us know that Jeremy Piven needs a script to be talented and should never perform live. ROH had a great main event on HDNet. Brooke Hogan thinks she is a benefit to our society (enter sarcasm here). Quite frankly, there was nothing worth noting.
Since this is MY column, I am going to promote some of my mid-year stuff, since it was more informative than what those ?wrestling insiders?. If I think it is really bad, then I will place myself in detention. I am sorry, there is nothing to really get all worked up on.
Headline #1: 2009 WrestleView Faculty Mid-Year Awards are finally done…
Mr. V’s Take: Well, it took longer than I thought it would. July is usually a busy month on my part. But as a man of my word (most of the time), I finally got the Awards done. If you want to see them, check out the following link:
http://www.wrestleview.com/news2009/1249071828.php
This will take you to Part 5 of The WV Faculty choices for the best (and worst) of 2009. If you want other parts, just click on Monday, Tuesday, etc. I thank Hunter and Adam for both reading over these parts and posting them on the site. If you have not seen them, enjoy!! You won?t be disappointed.
Headline #2: …as well as the 2009 Wrestling Rankings!
Mr. V’s Take: That took me forever to start up! I started this during one of my ?prep? periods when I taught at the now-defunct St. Titus School in Aliquippa, PA. St. Titus was known for three things. One was it was the school that Mike Ditka once called home. Two was that the faculty there was the nicest group of teachers I ever encountered. Finally, Mr. V was the last ever substitute teacher there. I thought about looking at wins, losses, how well the match played out, etc. What I came up with surprised even myself. I am so honored that I even got praise from my peers at WrestleView as well as some fan from around that world. You all will never know how thankful I am for all the kind words. Even I was surprised at the #1 wrestlers in each promotion. If you want to see the 2009 Wrestler Rankings, you can check them out at this link:
http://www.wrestleview.com/news2009/1249161970.php
And to all those who asked if I was insane when I worked on this? Yes, Yes I was!! However, it was totally worth it!!
Headline #3: Mr. V needs Help!
Mr. V’s Take: Ok, so Ricky Langston tells me this many times. Though it is true, I do need you help. I still have to finalize my 2009 Mid Year Awards. But I need some very intelligent people. Do you know who they are?
You?the student.
Yes, I am asking for your help to complete the ballot for the 2009 Mid-Year Awards. The rules are on the page on how to complete the ballot. You can find the ballot on this site:
http://www.wrestleview.com/news2009/1249255711.php
All those that complete this special ?assignment? will most definitely be on the wall of fame when the 2009 Mid-Year Student Choice Awards are announced within a week or two. I know I asked for only 25 to have a strong result. But since Sunday, I got over 35!! Now 50 to 60 may not be out of the question. I am not going to complain about this, I actually enjoy the feedback. You all care about our opinions, and I respect everyone’s opinion in these ballots.
And as always, I thank all of you for participating. I know for a fact that you will enjoy the final results.
Headline #4: But that is not all!
Mr. V’s Take: A couple weeks ago, I had yet another great idea!! Last week, Major League Baseball had a Trade Deadline that had passed last Friday. This is also known as how many marginal prospects the Pittsburgh Pirates can acquire. My 200 Watt light bulb came on once again! I got three columnists to pretend to be GMs for the top three wrestling promotions. I also got one columnist that was the ?Wrestling Insider?, providing his take on who got the better deal in each trade.
The columnists that were the GMs were David Stephens (WWE GM), Chris Kelly (TNA GM) and Josh Piedra (ROH GM). I gave them one hour to conduct as many trades as they could. Well, after the hour passed we had about 30 Wrestlers switch promotions in 13 trades. However, one was based on humor and did not count (Kevin Nash). I will still post it in case some of you want a good laugh.
Jose Marrero (our Insider) provided third-party feedback on each trade. The end result will blow the students minds!! Look for that later this week on WrestleView.com because you can?t find this stuff anywhere else (let along the work ethic of wrestling colunnists).
Headline #5: THE Pink Slip for THE Brian Kendrick
Mr. V’s Take: Ah yes!! Kendrick got released this week. I am actually mixed about this release though. I think Kendrick is a talented superstar in the business. He was pretty good in every company he wrestled for, and I think even Kendrick knew it. So good that he actually had a decent push once he split up with Paul London. Well, I don?t know what happened, but ?The Man with The Plan? lost his push, his bodyguard (who is destroying jobbers on ECW), and eventually, his job.
However, I see this as a good thing for Kendrick. He is no longer going to be buried by the likes of Primo and Jerry Lawler. He can now go to a different promotion and get a strong push elsewhere. I know we have not seen the last of him; he is just too good to forget.
Where will THE next job be? I thought about this and came down to three choices: TNA, ROH, and Japan. TNA would just bury him (he is not a Main Eventer nor is he British). I think ROH would be interested in him, but would Brian be interested in ROH? I think that is not out of the question. Japan? Why not? He is a good worker and is great in tag teams. I think it will either be Japan or ROH, depending on who will use him better and how much the pay will be.
Headline #6: Beth Phoenix is FOUND!
Mr. V’s Take: I am glad to see the Glamazon back on RAW. I was worried a bit. It is just pathetic how someone with that much talent got buried this year by the WWE. Oh well, seeing that she won a tag match last Monday had me thinking that she is not in the dog house at all. Now, let’s see a Title Belt on her!!
Once again, I am sorry for the self-promotion. In honesty, it was not all about me. The Awards were answered by columnists, as well as the soon-to-be-released ?Trade Deadline? column. The Wrestling Rankings, it was all me on that one. I don?t want to sound snobbish this week, but like I said. The week was slow on the wrestling front.
DETENTIONS!
Wow, just wow. This week I award detentions to:
Hulu – Quit censoring people using chairs or chains to strike an opponent. I mean, we all know it has been done so why not show it?
Jerry Lawler – I feel that he has run his course now. Since when did he become a corporate puppet for the WWE?
The Goods – At first, I thought the movie would be interesting. I know it comes out in a couple weeks, but I now have NO INTEREST in this.
WWE – How many times did you have to promote a movie that looks like it is going to be atrocious?
TNA Wrestling – I would like to see guys under the age of 35 get pushed.
Smart, Sexy, Powerful – I am tired of this saying about the WWE Divas, and you should too.
Fans that cried when Jeff Hardy got attacked by CM Punk – I don?t think I need to explain this one.
New SummerSlam logo – I miss the old 1988 one, don?t you class?
Mr. V – for self-promotion.
ROH’s treatment to Bryan Danielson – I feel bad for him. I mean he has only won one match since ROH got the TV deal. You know what? Bryan has been awesome in each match!! He should be winning more (and yes, I do know about his contract situation).
That Guy #1 – For screaming ?Go Back To FCW? to Abraham Washington. I would have marked out if Abe said ?Security!?.
ETERNAL DETENTION
Vince McMahon – He needs a nap, or a time out.
Dixie Carter – For her company issuing out ?press releases? about something stupid (James Storm/Beergate).
Jeremy Piven – I dislike you! I think you are an overrated actor and an overrated guest host. I never want to see you in a WWE ring again.
Michael Cole – He said Meet the Viper? Well, I say meet Eternal Detention. I mean, how does this guy keep a commentary job? Even Don West is getting better (yes, that is a compliment).
Jenna Morasca – Now she is beneficial to TNA? What’s next?
Jarrett/Angle – If they want to make a sequel to Jerry Springer’s ?Ringmaster?, just read the news wires on this love triangle.
Jeremy Borash – I think he is an annoying little Hornswoggle. I am no fan of gimmick matches, but these two in a cross-promotion PPV match in a microphone on a pole match and it would have more buy rates than a normal TNA PPV.
Pittsburgh Pirates Ownership – Ok, Ok I get it. We lost our entire starting lineup and a couple bench players for prospects. In two years, I actually think that it will work out. I am still boycotting all Pirates games until Andrew McCuthen gets an extension.
Dr. Ken – I wish Chris Masters did not catch you as Cena threw you over the ropes. That would have been almost as funny as Mark Henry wearing a leprechaun hat.
MISTER V?S HONOR ROLL FOR THE WEEK OF JULY 25 – JULY 31, 2009
A lot of good wrestling this week!! I actually have something good to say about each show. Some segments were good, but the wrestling was probably the best I seen this year! The top three matches I graded and ?A?, and all three should be considered a Match of the Year for 2009. I hope the WWE reads this because I think my readers will agree who the best worker is right now for the WWE.
Distinguished Honors – Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison, Friday Night Smackdown, July 31.
Too bad this was not last month because this would be my top TV Match of the Year. This was a WrestleMania main even quality match and it was absolutely free.
High Honors – Tyler Black vs. Bryan Danielson, ROH on HDNet, July 25.
This match was Part 3. Both matches ended with no winner (one by a time limit draw and the other was a double count out). I know Tyler Black may be overrated by some, but he did a good job. Danielson though was nearly flawless. Still, their first match was a little better than this one.
Honors – John Morrison vs. Tyson Kidd, WWE Superstars, July 30.
Morrison continues to amaze the WrestleView resident teacher. It is even more phenomenal because I think he wrestled both matches on the same day!! Tyson Kidd may be a bit buried by the power of DH Smith. But Tyson looked real strong and shows signs of being a singles superstar once given the chance.
Honorable Mention (graded C+ or higher): MVP vs. Chris Masters on 7/28; Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger on 7/28; Tyler Reks vs. Paul Birchill on 7/29; Sheamus vs. Goldust on 7/29; Christian vs. Zach Ryder on 7/29; William Regal vs. Yoshi Tatsu on 7/30; Randy Orton vs. Primo on 7/30; Hernandez vs. Samoa Joe on 7/30; AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgan on 7/30; Cryme Tyme vs. Hart Dynasty on 7/31; and Rey Mysterio/Finlay vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mike Knox on 7/31.
Worst Match of the Week – Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle, Monday Night Raw, July 28/
Overall, RAW was a good show. This match was just plain foolish. I really, really, really, really feel bad for Chavo. He deserves better than jobbing four straight times to a vertically-challenged individual. WWE, please stop this.
Dishonorable Mention (graded C- or lower): Kofi Kingston vs. Brian Kendrick on 7/28; Vladimir Kozlov vs. Bill Baine on 7/29; and Charlie Haas vs. The Great Khali on 7/31.
WEEKLY TV WARS
In case you are a new student, I look at the highs and lows of each show. I give that show a grade and the highest receive two points from me and the runner-up gets one point.
Now this is also a student-friendly section. Students can e-mail me their show of the week (even if you only saw one that you liked) by e-mailing me at mistervwv@yahoo.com.
This time, I promise to find something good on each show. It was actually quite easy.
ROH on HDNet (July 25)
Pros: The Main Event was outstanding between Danielson and Black. I thought the majority of the segments were pretty good. Austen Aries and Nigel McGuiness did a great job on the mic. I am also a sucker for Colt Cabana’s ?The Art of Wrestling?.
Cons: Other than the main event, the matches just were not that good. The women’s tag was too quick and a bit sloppy.
Overall: ROH had, I would say, and above average show. I was entertained, but the first two matches were a bit boring.
Points: Zero.
Monday Night Raw (July 28)
Pros: Shaq was the best host since they did the ?guest host? thing. The interaction with Shaq and the wrestlers had a purpose. I could tell that Shaq like wrestling, he was very into his character. Mark Henry was very good in the ring, even though Carlito was not. Evan Bourne’s win really was a plus for me, and his match with Swagger was pretty good. Finally, Shaq shoulder tackling Big Show was a great way to cap off Raw.
Cons: Chavo and Swoggle was wasted space on the card. I did not mind seeing Cena win, but that quickly against the Miz. I feel bad for the Miz right now. All this buildup and for what? I wish they did more for Chris Masters, because he put on a decent show against MVP. Michael Cole’s commentary was just awful, and it gets worse when Piven was the guest host. RIP Brian Kendrick’s WWE career. It was sad to see his last match a 10 second squash to Kofi Kingston.
Overall: The wrestling was average, but the other segments were very good! I told a couple people that Shaq as guest host will equal ratings, and it did.
Points: One Point from Mr. V. The storylines sold were good, but overall the wrestling was average.
ECW (July 29)
Pros: The majority of the wrestling card was scripted well. Tyler Reks wrestled his best match so far in a win against Birchill. The main event was good, just a bit spotty for my liking. Still, Christian is one of the top five talents the WWE has right now. I am impressed with Sheamus, but more with Goldust. I hope he can find a way to get pushed in a shockingly loaded brand right now. Also, the promo involving Dreamer and Christian was quick and to the point.
Cons: The only blemish was the interaction between Ezekiel Jackson and Kozlov. I just don?t see it between both guys.
Overall: It was a solid show and on an average week it would have gotten a point or two. However, it was in the middle of the pack since all the shows had some good in them.
Points: Zero.
WWE Superstars (July 30)
Pros: All the matches!! Each match was just impressive to watch. It was the first time I was into WWE Superstars from the first to the last minute. I think all of the wrestlers came out winners on this show, especially Primo. Primo right now is a bit better than his brother. His work ethic is better and he sold all of Randy’s offense. That is pretty good for a guy who just showed up last year.
Cons: There were no segments outside of wrestling. I know I am harsh on that. There still could have been more than just Randy Orton saying that Cena earned agony.
Overall: It was wrestling heavy, as were previous episodes. However I can?t give a point to this show because other shows were better than Superstars this week.
Points: Zero.
TNA Impact (July 30)
Pros: Hernandez was amazing!! He comes off of neck surgery and was able to do a vertical suplex on Samoa Joe? Bobby Lashley did more than just point this past week. He was an impact and helped Mick Foley because a multiple belt champion for TNA. I was impressed with AJ Styles and Matt Morgan. The 450 splash was a thing of beauty. Don West was at his best this week! I know, I am actually giving him praise for his work, what is wrong with me? Also, I am digging the Beer Money/Booker and Scotty rivalry.
Cons: Eric Young in a faction does not bother me. However, a leader in a faction? That does bother me. Also, his promo about ?no more entertainment? is a lot like Chris Jericho’s promo when he started his ?I am the best? gimmick. I like the British Invasion, but way too much interference in that match. The 6-Knockout Tag worked well for most the women, but I feel bad for Madison Rayne. Currently, in a win-loss point of view she is 0-14. Two more losses and she will be the Detroit Lions of TNA. Finally, too much MEM time. If my dad says something about how old Kevin Nash is, then it is time to book someone else as your champion.
Overall: A lot of hit and miss for my liking. I know I edited out some storylines, but the show was not bad. It was pretty good for my students, as they picked this as their show of the week. Out of the five that votes, Impact got three of them.
Points: One Point from the Students of Mr. V.
Friday Night Smackdown (July 31)
Pros: CM Punk’s massive heel turn was epic! It was brutal and it was perfect. I really like what Smackdown did for him. Other than Khali vs. Haas, the matches on the card were excellent. The Main Event was the best I have seen all year. John Morrison is the next big thing and it is a dang shame that the fans are not rooting for this guy in the arenas. Even the WWE Divas did a great job. Finally, the commentary was great. Todd and JR may be the best commentary team in recent memory.
Cons: Khali and Kane’s feud. To me, that was the only downer on this show.
Overall: The best show of the week!! It had a good tag team and diva’s match. They booked Finlay, Rey, and Dolph Ziggler well. The main event is still awe inspiring.
Points: Two Points from Mr. V.
Wow, that is it! For now on, I am making that portion a lot shorter. I am sorry for my ranting on the week’s shows. Forgive me on that.
OVERALL STANDINGS
1) Friday Night Smackdown (47 Points)
2) Monday Night RAW (33 Points)
3) ECW (14 Points)
4) TNA Impact (14 Points)
5) ROH on HDnet (7 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (0 Points)
COMMENTARY REPORT CARD
(Presented by: JR’s Bar-B-Q Sauce. Keep on hitting his site. Not only does it promote good sauce, but JR talks about wrestling on it. Check it out at www.jrsbarbq.com.)
Now, on to my notes:
1) Mike Hogewood was at his best yet again. A far cry to where he was a few months ago
2) Dave Prazak interacted well with Mike this week, he called the moves and Mike called the action most of the time.
3) How terrible was Cole and Lawler. Lawler was still ok in his Diva’s Match commentary though, until he tried to woo Kelly Kelly.
4) Cole?you are not cool.
5) Mike Tenay was not the best commentator at the TNA table this week. Don West finally hit his stride on this past week’s Impact.
So, now on to this week’s grades:
Michael Cole: F (2009 Grade: D) **Defending winner of the Dunce Cap**
Jerry Lawler: C- (2009 Grade: C)
Josh Mathews: B- (2009 Grade: C+)
Matt Striker: B+ (2009 Grade: A-) **Currently on Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: B+ (2009 Grade: B)
Jim Ross: A (2009 Grade: A-) **Currently on Dean’s List**
Mike Tenay: C (2009 Grade: C+)
Don West: A- (2009 Grade: C-) **no need for pinching, he deserved it**
Mike Hogewood: C+ (2009 Grade: C)
Dave Prazak: B (2009 Grade: B+) **Currently on Dean’s List**
HOMEWORK ANALYSIS
Finally, I have come across to grade the homework!! As you can tell from last week, I had no time to check the homework. Well, now that the summer is nearing an end and I got the time. Also, NO HOMEWORK DUE NEXT WEEK!! Reason is to announce the winners of the Student’s Choice Mid Year Awards. So, I remember asking the class two questions. The results will follow the questions.
1) Who is the most outstanding wrestler of the year? (It could be any type of wrestler on any brand in professional wrestling)
Students votes:
1) Chris Jericho (6 Votes)
2) Randy Orton (3 Votes)
3) John Morrison (2 Votes)
4) Those with 1 vote (Richie Steamboat, Edge, Rey Mysterio, MVP, and AJ Styles
2) Not including PPV matches, what do you think was the best match of the year so far? (If you don?t know the answer, just answer question #1).
Students votes:
Those with 2 or more votes:
HHH vs. Orton’s Last Man Standing Match during RAW is Trump
Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterios on the 7/10 Edition of Smackdown
John Morrison vs. Evan Bourne the day after the WWE Draft
Those with one vote:
Edge vs. John Morrison (I don?t remember the date, please forgive)
Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio on a June Edition of Smackdown
Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin on the 1/5 Edition of Smackdown
MVP vs. Orton one week after the WWE Draft
CM Punk vs. John Morrison part I on a July Edition of Smackdown
MISTER V?S GOLD STAR SEGMENT!
Gold Stars are coming full force tonight! The Gold Stars this week are awarded to:
All students that provided homework – Ben Phillips, Jeremy Samples, Suzanne Abshire, Michael Pinion, esparo, SUPERSTARZZ, Jamel Watson, Paul Pomykala, Czygan, Jesse Grams, Jake Rockwell, and Austen Allen. Thanks for the Homework.
Kevin Steen – As of July 3, according to my rankings he is #1 among ROH wrestlers.
Alex Shelley – My numbers don?t lie most of the time, he is #1 among TNA wrestlers (I think Kurt will use his stroke to fire Shelley because of this).
John Morrison – Though he did not hold a singles belt this year, he is the overall #1 wrestler in my rankings, amassing over 100 points in just six months!
To the WresteView Faculty – Thank you for making the 2009 Mid-Year Awards a hit!
John Morrison – Again, for 2 Honor Roll-Quality matches.
John Cena – Yes, a star for you for dumping Dr. Ken on his head live on RAW.
Hernandez – I applaud you for your hard work in your return match. It is nice to see him get a solid reaction last Thursday.
Josh Piedra – For your role as ROH GM in our Trade Deadline Feature.
Dave Stephens – For your role as WWE GM in our Trade Deadline Feature.
Chris Kelly – For your role as TNA GM in our Trade Deadline Feature.
Jose Marrero – For your role as the Third Party Insider for the Feature. Thank you for the hard work.
Smackdown Creative – Wow, just when Smackdown can?t get any better, it just does! This is the show that ECW up-and-comers should go when they are ready for primetime.
All the Students that voted for the 2009 Mid Year Awards – I am approaching 40 of you! Thank you very much for the support.
Bryan Danielson and Tyler Black – Thank you for a nicely done trilogy on ROH on HDNet.
Tyson Kidd – I think you are doing a great job. He is a true class act outside of wrestling, as I talk to him on Facebook every now and then.
Sheamus – Keep going strong there! Hope these wins early on amount to something.
Don West – Your first A! I can?t believe it either, but he matched the criteria that I look for in a color commentator this week.
Well class, it is about time to me to call it a day! These columns have to get shorter the next time, but I don?t want to lose much content either. It keeps the brain going. So, let me know what you thought about the column by e-mailing me at mistervwv@yahoo.com. To those who cast their ballot, I will thank you via e-mail later on this week. To those that did not, what the heck are you waiting for? This classroom is a democracy! I am WrestleView’s Resident Teacher Anthony J. Valvo saying enjoy the rest of the summer. I know I will. Until the unveiling of yet another feature or two (or perhaps Mr. V #28), you are…DISMISSED!
Facebook: Under Anthony J. Valvo from the Pittsburgh, PA Network
**Mr. V does not do MySpace (never will) or Twitter (or is he?)**
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thank you all for reading this week.
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