CHIKARA “Battle Not With Monsters”
Gibsonville, North Carolina
May 3, 2013
Recap by: Jason Namako of WrestleView.com
Nest of Donst out 1st instead of Gavin, WHAAA? Jakob wants to ring announce, but Donst forces him not to. Donst makes Steve the Turtle’s back be used as a stool so he can “sing”. Kid in crowd: “This is a family show”. Donst: “Shut up kid”. OK, that was great. Donst “sings” a song about hating random things. Not been a fan of the Nest of Donst, but this is well done.
We see a pre-match promo where Kobald keeps yelling “We’re unstoppable” until Ophidian has Kodama shut him up. Funny.
Ophidian & The Batiri (Kobald, Kodama & Obaryion) vs. Los Ice Creams & The Colony (Fire & assailANT)
Ophidian scares Los Ice Creams before the bell sounds. One of them hides behind a little girl. Awesome. Kobald brings in a trash can so that Ophidian can dump Los Ice Creams “sprinkles” into the trash. That was MEAN! That incenses the Ice Creams & they & the Colony rush the ring to start this match with everyone brawling around the building. One of the Ice Creams & Ophidian goes out the front door, then Ophidian is sent face-first into a fan. OUCH. ICE CREAM SANDWICH by the Ice Creams on Ophidian. Bryce Remsburg & Ultramantis Black on commentary for this match. Batiri & Colony go back and forth, with Colony gaining advantage. Kobald & one of the Ice Creams now in, doing some comedy. Kobald STEALS a fan’s Ice Creams mask and one of the Ice Creams hides their face. Kobald needs to BE A STAR. Kobald puts on the Ice Cream mask, then one of the Ice Cream comes from the back, wearing a Kobald back. LOL. They have some fun acting like the other, then do some comedy until Kobald with a Spear. Ice Cream comes back with the Cold Stone. Batiri then begins cheating while the ref is distracted to take over. Batiri then chain hands while Kobald has Fire Ant in an abdominal stretch. Fire Ant reverses & then Colony, the Ice Creams & the ENTIRE Front Row chain hands to help out. The chain goes into the merch area until Ophidian finally breaks it up, aghast at the lack of order by the ref. Ophidian then places a spell on assailANT. THE MOST ILLEGAL THING IN ALL OF PRO WRESTLING, OMGZ!!! Batiri begins to take over on assailANT. Double team by the Batiri for a nearfall. Ophidian has the Batiri go after the Ice Creams. Batiri & Ophidian all hit running corner strikes. Ice Creams accidentally hit assailANT. assailANT comes back with a urnangi. Fire Ant gets the hot tag, Colony with the 4 Feet of Fury. “Nuevo” double team by the Ice Creams. Fire Ant is sent onto the Ice Creams on the outside & they begin arguing.
Batiri hit assailANT with Skull Bronzing for the win.
Winners: Ophidian & The Batiri by pinfall (Skull Bronzing)
Donst wants to do a raffle where the winner kisses Veronica. Veronica is NOT HAPPY about this. Steve the Turtle “wins”, but falls on his face trying to go after Veronica. Donst rips on him & Veronica also for NO REASON. Donst makes sure to mention that this will be Saturyne’s 2nd to last match because she will wrestle Donst the next day in her last match.
“The Inter-Galactic Luchadora” Saturyne vs. Missile Assault Ant
Saturyne has fun with her robe, treating Missile Assault like a bull while the crowd does an “OLE” chant. Where have I heard that before? Don’t know. Missile Assault has had enough and begins choking Saturyne with the robe. Steve the Turtle joins Bryce on commentary. Saturyne comes back with a wheel-barrow bulldog, but Missile Assault with a clothesline for a nearfall. Missile Assault works over Saturyne, but Saturyne comes back with a satellite headscissors. Missile does a Flair Flop after saying his name, but he was playing possum as he takes back over on Saturyne.
Saturyne avoids a charge, hits another wheel-barrow bulldog, followed by a La Magistral for the victory.
Winner: Saturyne by pinfall (La Magistral)
deviANT comes out with the Colony: Xtreme Force before the next match. deviANT says since Soldier Ant couldn’t be here because he can NEVER be a leader. deviANT says he is the new leader of the Xtreme Force thanks to Wink Vavasseur. Xtreme Force attacks 3.0, their scheduled opponents. Then, Gran Akuma runs out to make the save and this tag match has now turned into a trios bout. TRIOS MATCH, PLAYA!!!
The Colony: Xtreme Force (deviANT, Arctic Rescue Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant) vs. CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas 3.0. (Scott “Jagged” Parker & “Big Magic” Shane Matthews) & Gran Akuma
Orbit Adventure & Jagged will start things off. Jakob Hammermeier joins commentary for this match. All 6 battle in the ring and Xtreme Force yells their names like always, but deviANT will have NONE of it. 3.Akuma sends Xtreme Force into each other. BOOYAH! elbows to Arctic Rescue & Orbit Adventure, but deviANT takes over. Xtreme Force begins triple teaming Shane Matthews. Arctic Rescue with a “Snowboard” on Matthews, but Jagged breaks it up. deviANT with a nearfall as Jagged leads the crowd in a “DEFENSE” chant for his partner. Xtreme Force double-teaming for a nearfall. Matthews comes back with a clothesline and tags in Akuma. Porcelain Punisher to Orbit, then the Tenchi Crash to Arctic, but deviANT breaks it up and hits a big head kick. deviANT counters a 3.0. double team, then Orbit with a Cross Rhodes variation. Codebreaker/Lung Blower/dropkick combo to Akuma for a nearfall. Akuma with the cartwheel DVD to Orbit, then Parker with a Tornado Superplex for a close nearfall. Referee stops Orbit from using his space helmet, but deviANT hits Akuma with the snowboard.
Arctic Rescue hits 2Radical MegaAir Tailbone Slammer: Xtreme on Akuma for the victory.
Winners: The Colony: Xtreme Force by pinfall (2Radical MegaAir Tailbone Slammer: Xtreme)
The Shard vs. “The Funky Pharaoh” Amasis
Veronica joins commentary for this match. Matwork exchange, then Amasis with a dropkick and a fake-out when Shard goes to the outside. Amasis with a headscissors, but Shard dropkicks him off the ropes and hits an Argentine Backbreaker for a nearfall. Shard begins working over the back of Amasis, which caused him leaving CHIKARA to years ago. Veronica says that Gavin Loudspeaker had some “travel issues” but LFC says he saw Gavin earlier today. The plot thickens. Big kick to the throat by the Shard for a nearfall. Shard continues to work over the back while Amasis SCREAMS in agony. Amasis begins to make a comeback with some open-hand slaps, but Shard comes right back with a backbreaker and a chest kick. Shard with a Train Wreck variation for a nearfall. Shard then with a urnangi backbreaker, followed by kicks to the back. Amasis kicks Shard off the apron, then SOARS and SCORES with Air Egypt!!! Back in the ring, Amasis with a crossbody for a nearfall. However, Shard comes back with the running Alabama Slam in the corner. Shard with a Project Ciampa variation for a nearfall. Shard with kicks, but Amasis tells him to bring it. Strike exchange until Amasis with a spin kick for a nearfall. Amasis blocks a Super Exploder, but Shard with a backbreaker on the top turnbuckle!!! OUCH!!! Double stomp off the top by Shard, but Amasis KICKS OUT!!! Shard with a Torture Rack, but Amasis with a cradle for a nearfall.
Superkick by Shard, but Amasis catches him off the ropes with another cradle to get the victory.
Winner: “The Funky Pharaoh” Amasis by pinfall (Inside Cradle)
Nest of Donst gets in the ring afterwards, but then we see Gavin Loudspeaker come out all taped up. Gavin gets in Donst’s face, but Donst shoves him down. Nest of Donst then leaves as we go to our next match.
Archie cuts a promo (with a wacky new mustache BTW) on his match with Jigsaw next. Archie wonders why Jigsaw would join up with someone who wanted to destroy CHIKARA. Based on recent wacky theories about CHIKARA, ironic, eh?
Archibald Peck vs. Jigsaw
Jigsaw steals Archie’s hat before the bell and PUNTS it into the crowd. Scott Parker joins LFC for commentary. Exchange of mat-work to start, with Archie gaining advantage. Archie staying one step ahead of Jigsaw everytime Jigsaw tries to take over. Archie with a one-leg dropkick, a drop toe hold in the corner, followed by the running back elbow. Archie with a flying mare, but Jigsaw clubs him down to the mat and begins to take over. Archie comes back with a neckbreaker across the ropes, followed by a springboard forearm. Archie calls for his “new move”, but Jigsaw avoids it. Archie goes up top, but Jigsaw crotches him. Brainbuster for a nearfall. Dueling chants as Jigsaw chokes Archie. followed by kicks. He feigns going for a back kick, instead applying a chinlock. Archie fights back, but Jig with a dropkick for a nearfall. Archie begins to feel no effect being sent into the corner. Archie does the Ric Flair up & over, but Jig catches him with an enziguri. Jig goes for a suplex off the apron, but is blocked. Archie with a boot and heads up top, but Jig stops them, then does an ELECTRIC CHAIR ON THE APRON!!!! OMG!!! “Holy poop” chants from the crowd, my sentiments exactly. Jig gets Archie back in, but Archie surprises him with a cradle for a nearfall. Archie tells Jig to bring it. Jig obliges Archie with a superkick, but Archie kicks out! Jig goes for Jig & Tonic, but Archie with a roll-up for a nearfall. Archie with a Samoa Joe style Boston Crab, but Jig gets the ropes. Jig then with a cradle for a nearfall.
Jig again blocks the “new move”, but then Archie with a leg roll-up and HOOKS THE TIGHTS to get the win.
Winner: Archibald Peck by pinfall (Roll-Up with hook of tights)
Young Lions Cup: “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti (c) vs. The Chiva Kid
Home promotion crowd for Chiva Kid firmly behind him for this match. Touchdown feigns a handshake and instead, Tebows. 2011 called, Touchdown, they want their pose back. Chiva with a drop toe hold and a dropkick, then SOARS AND SCORES with a flip dive on the outside. Touchdown with a “stiff arm” to counter a Chiva springboard. Chiva with a backflip kick, followed by a springboard rana. Backflip into a headscissors by Chiva, but Touchdown catches him with a running spinebuster for a nearfall. Slam & a knee drop by Touchdown for a nearfall. Chinlock applied as the crowd wills on Chiva. Chiva counters out with a jawbreaker, followed by a Pele Kick. Touchdown comes back with another spinebuster for a nearfall. Touchdown tells Chiva, or “goat boy”, to quit. Chiva avoids a charge with a roll-up for a nearfall. Reverse Rana for a nearfall. Chiva gets out of a delayed superplex, then hits a no-hands rana. Shooting Star Press, but Touchdown KICKS OUT!! Chiva with forearms, exchange of roll-ups for nearfalls.
Chiva avoids another spinebuster, but Touchdown with the Flea Flicker for the victory.
Winner and STILL Young Lions Cup Champion: “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti by pinfall (The Flea Flicker)
The Spectral Envoy cut a promo about the match next with F.I.S.T, while holding title belts. When did they win belts? Confused.
The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) vs. F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano) w/Sugar Dunkerton
As always before a match, Chuck Taylor tries to hide a steel chair. Awesome. Icarus has a fire extinguisher, but the ref stops him, Gargano now has a trash can, but again is stopped. Envoy then gets the big cooling fan, to which Taylor says its Mantis’s only fan. Gargano & Wicked start this off. Gargano & Taylor are wearing black, while Icarus is wearing purple, hmmmm. Gargano blocks Go to Sleepy Hollow, Wicked blocks a superkick and hits a rana. Wicked takes out Gargano with a tope dive. Icarus & Mantis now in and Icarus TAKES OFF HIS JACKET. I’M GOING BLIND!!!! Icarus with a big overhand chop, but misses a 2nd and Mantis with some Mongolian Chops. Lucha roll-up by Mantis for a nearfall. Another overhand chop, but then Taylor comes in. Frightmare in with a crossbody. Apron-to-ring rana by Frightmare, but Taylor takes over. Gargano in, but Frightmare stops a double-team with a Tornado DDT. Envoy with a double-team on Gargano for a nearfall. FIST takes over on Wicked. Wicked avoids a double team, Envoy with a double-team on Gargano for a nearfall. FIST takes over on Wicked. Wicked avoids a double team, then Mantis rakes the back tattoo of Icarus. OUCH. Mantis knocks FIST off the apron, but Icarus with a Spear for a nearfall. Icarus now in control over Mantis. Taylor in and hits a dropkick. FIST double-teaming Mantis. Back elbow with dancing/stomping mudhole combo by Gargano & Taylor. Icarus with a leg drop for a nearfall. Crowd willing on Mantis. Slingshot Spear by Gargano for a nearfall. Gargano wants Sugar Dunkerton to grab Mantis’s leg, Sugar refuses. Gargano & Sugar have words. Sugar wants Gargano to pull at the leg, but when he tries, Mantis with a baseball slide and tags in Wicked. Iconoclasm by Wicked, followed by a senton on Taylor. Icarus gets a flying knee, followed by the Iconoclasm onto Taylor. Gargano with an enziguri, then the rolling ground kick to Frightmare. Frightmare charges, but Gargano avoids & Frightmare takes out FIST. Full Nelson Slam by Mantis for a nearfall. Envoy goes for a double-team, but Taylor stops it. Sandwich kicks by FIST, followed by a lungblower/kick combo, but Frightmare breaks it up. Icarus goes for the Blu-Ray, but Frightmare counters with the Crucifix Driver. Assisted Ace Crusher by FIST, but is broken up. Cosmic Doom by Mantis, but Taylor breaks it up. Soul Food to Frightmare, but he comes back with a running knee. FIST goes for a double team, but Frightmare moves and Taylor accidentally boots Icarus. Gargano with a superkick as Sugar checks on Icarus.
Gargano shoves Sugar off the apron, but Frightmare rolls him up for the win.
Winners: The Spectral Envoy by pinfall (Roll-Up)
Gargano is upset after and goes to remove his FIST armbands, Icarus gets a mic. Icarus says for Gargano to give Sugar a chance as Gargano yells that he quits FIST. Gargano acts like cooler heads have prevailed, but after FIST raise arms, he superkicks Sugar, Icarus then SPEARS Gargano! Taylor leaves with Gargano and Icarus helps Sugar up, but then leaves alone as it appears that FIST has imploded.
Green Ant talks about his non-title win on 2/9 against Kingston and that he will win the Grand Championship.
Main Event for the CHIKARA Grand Championship: “The War King” Eddie Kingston (c) vs. Green Ant
Kingston acting very confident before the match, yelling “No one can touch me”. Green Ant instantly goes after the weak link of Kingston, his knee, with kicks. Crossbody off the top to the outside by Green. Flying knee by Green sends Kingston to the apron. Green goes for a headbutt, but Kingston moves & Green goes head-first off the apron. OUCH! Kingston begins to take over, but Green fights back. Neckbreaker by Kingston for a nearfall. Green fights back with kicks, but Kingston catches him with an Exploder, then locks in a chinlock. Chop exchange, but then Kingston with a bulldog off the 2nd rope. Kingston then asks for the ref to count out Green. Commentary mentions how obsessed Kingston has become with the Grand Championship, acting like its the love of his life. Kingston with chops, but Green comes back with a dropkick and a top rope elbow for a nearfall. Rolling elbow by Green. Enziguri & a missile dropkick by Green, followed by a Frog Splash onto Kingston’s leg for a nearfall. Unique slam by Green for a nearfall, followed by a Shining Wizard for another nearfall. Green misses a kick & Kingston with a dragon suplex. Kingston with a double-arm DDT of sorts for a nearfall. Green blocks the Backdrop Driver & Backfist, but Kingston with an enziguri. Superplex by Kingston for a nearfall. Green with a big lariat after not connecting all the way with the 1st for a close nearfall. Kingston rakes the eyes, but Green kicks the leg again, sending Kingston off the ropes & to the outside. Kingston avoids Green off the top, then POWERBOMBS HIM ON THE OUTSIDE!!!! Green just barely gets back in before the count of 20. Green then locks Kingston in the Cloverleaf, same move he won the 1st match, but Kingston makes the ropes. Backfist & the Backdrop Driver, but Green gets back up!
Another backfist and Kingston retains the title.
Winner and STILL CHIKARA Grand Champion: “The War King” Eddie Kingston by pinfall (Backfist to the Future)
Afterwards, Kingston gloats that “No one can judge a King”.
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CHIKARA “The Ghost of You Clings”
Porterdale, Georgia
May 4, 2013
Recap by: Jason Namako of WrestleView.com
“The Spirit Dragon” Shenron vs. “The Kentucky Gentleman” Chuck Taylor
Taylor steals a sign from a fan and gives it a knee drop. Shenron is Charade from Beyond Wrestling, who cracked his skull 6 months ago. Speedy recovery, I might say. Bryce & Gavin do commentary for this match. Odd looking venue CHIKARA chose for this show in Porterdale, GA. Taylor takes control at the start. No FIST markings on his ring attire. Shenron comes back with some lucha arm-drags. Headstand into a headscissors by Shenron sends Taylor to the outside. Tope dive into an armdrag on the outside. Taylor goes to the commentation station, but Shenron goes after him. Back in, Taylor with a swinging neckbreaker in the ropes for a nearfall. Taylor takes control, working over Shenron and stomps a mudhole in him. Taylor yells at some Shenron fans. Shenron comes back with a Yoshi Tonic for a nearfall. Taylor then catches Shenron & belly-to-bellies him into the corner! OUCH! Taylor gains a nearfall, but Shenron avoids a Lionsault. Shenron with some kicks, but Taylor hits Soul Food. Shenron comes back with a Lethal Injection variation for a nearfall. Taylor catches him in the corner, but Shenron with a rana. 619-style maneuver, followed by another lucha arm-drag by Shenron for a nearfall. Dropkick, but Shenron misses a flip legdrop. Taylor suplexes shenron right on the apron, but Shenron kicks out! Standing Urnangi, but again Shenron kicks out! Taylor goes for a Super Exploder, but Taylor catches him off the top, however Shenron turns it into a twisting rana for a nearfall. shenron misses a springboard twisting splash.
Taylor goes for the Awful Waffle, but Shenron counters into a roll-up and gets the upset win.
Winner: “The Spirit Dragon” Shenron by pinfall (Roll-Up)
Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw & The Shard) vs. The Colony (Fire Ant & assailANT)
Shard & Fire start. LFC joins Bryce on commentary. Matwork exchange, with Fire getting advantage. Jig & assail now in. Jig knocks Fire off the apron and Shard clips assail’s knee from behind. Shard works over the leg while Jig back suplexes Fire on the apron. Pieces of Hate begin working over assail. Dropkick by Jig for a nearfall. Double team on assail. Shard works over leg. Splash by Shard for a nearfall. assail tries to fight back, but Pieces of Hate continue to assault his leg. Shard with a leglock. Jig trash talks Colony, but assail comes back with a belly-to-back urnangi. Fire gets the tag. Crossbody & a running kick for Shard. Tope Dive by Fire, but Jig stops a 2nd one. Tornado DDT by Fire. 4 Feet of Fury by Colony. Ants Go Marching on Shard, but Jig breaks it up. Fire with head kicks to both of Pieces of Hate. Pieces of Hate with a Superkick/Brainbuster combo, but Fire kicks out! Fire avoids a double stomp & assail with a flying elbow. Pieces of Hate with stereo kicks to the Colony, but Fire counters a suplex by Shard into a Stunner. Discus Clothesline by assail, but Jig breaks up the pinfall. Jig goes back to the leg, but assail with a urnangi for a nearfall. Mushroom Stomp & a German by Jig, but Fire breaks it up. Series of reversals, then Fire SPIKES Jig on his head with the Beach Break!! OMG! Shard breaks the pinfall with a Superkick & hits a Gory Bomb, but Fire kicks out! Shard counters Get the Sugar by assail.
Running Alabama Slam by Shard, followed by a Brainbuster and finally the double stomp to get Pieces of Hate the victory.
Winners: Pieces of Hate by pinfall (Top Rope Double Stomp)
Gran Akuma vs. Sugar Dunkerton w/Icarus
Sugar tells Icarus to hold onto his afro pick. LFC & Gavin on commentary for this match. Sugar takes control early. Akuma gets free and hooks Sugar in a Bow & Arrow. Akuma with a side headlock, but Sugar gets free. Log Roll by Sugar, then Sugar does a little dance before applying an Indian Deathlock. Akuma blocks a Figure 4, but Sugar with a Butt Butt for a nearfall. Akuma then comes back with some of his lethal kicks for a nearfall. Akuma with a dropkick, but Icarus puts Sugar’s foot on the ropes. Akuma goes to work on the legs of Sugar. Akuma turns it into the Triple H version of the Indian Deathlock before Sugar gets the ropes. Icarus pulls at Akuma’s leg. Sugar & Icarus have words, but that allows Akuma to hit more kicks. Akuma locks in a Figure 4, but Sugar reverses. Sugar fights back, but Akuma kicks him off the apron. Akuma goes for a flip dive, but Icarus sacrifices himself for Sugar. Back in, Akuma with a German and a Falcon Arrow, but Sugar kicks out! Sugar with a kneelift, but Akuma hits the cartwheel DVD, but again, Sugar kicks out!!!
Akuma heads up top, but Icarus shoves him off in front of the ref, who calls for the DQ.
Winner: Gran Akuma by DQ
Sugar can’t believe it as he lost in his home state of Georgia. Sugar asks for a mic and says he’s had it and quits FIST. Icarus is now alone as FIST has crumbled before him in the span of 2 nights.
Kobald vs. “The Funky Pharaoh” Amasis
Kobald throws a fan’s hat and the fan goes after Kobald before security intervenes. Weird to see at a CHIKARA show. Kobald gets a hiding spot and attacks Amasis when he makes his entrance. Chop exchange, but then Amasis is sent to the ringpost. Amasis then holds the arms of Kobald so the front row can take turns chopping him. Awesome. Both men block suplex attempts on the floor, but then Ophidian comes out and Kobald SUPLEXES Amasis right on the floor! OUCH!! Kobald then continues the attack on the injured back of Amasis, stealing a page from Kevin Steen with the apron powerbomb! Back in, bell finally sounds and Kobald gains a nearfall. Double knees to the back for another nearfall. Kobald continues to work over the back of Amasis and gains more nearfalls. Chop exchange with Amasis fighting back. Amasis with 3 clotheslines, but Kobald goes again to the back. Spinebuster by Amasis for a nearfall. Kobald bites Amasis. Powerbomb by Kobald, but Amasis kicks out! Amasis crotches Kobald and hits an enziguri. Kobald comes back and hits a SUPER TOMBSTONE, but AMASIS KICKS OUT AGAIN!!! Amasis avoids the Demon’s Toilet, then hits an Air Raid Crash, followed by a basement dropkick.
Kobald powers up, but Amasis drills him with a Rolling Elbow for the victory.
Winner: “The Funky Pharaoh” Amasis by pinfall (Rolling Elbow)
The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) & Green Ant vs. The Colony: Xtreme Force (deviANT, Arctic Rescue Ant, Missile Assault Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant)
Green Ant and deviANT start. The rest of the Xtreme Force attacks when Green Ant goes for the Cloverleaf. Frightmare jumps onto Missile who took off his mask at the WrestleCon show. Frightmare with a yakuza kick. Xtreme Force comes back and goes for the mask of Frightmare. Everyone comes in and begins brawling.. Envoy double team on Arctic for a nearfall. Hallowicked with a Swanton, bit Orbit breaks it up. Xtreme Force again go after Frightmare’s mask. Mantis comes in to break it up, but he is sent to the outside. They again go after the mask of Frightmare. Frightmare comes back with a DDT to Missile. Wicked comes in and hits an enziguri, followed by Go 2 Sleepy Hollow for a nearfall. Wicked goes after Missile’s mask, but Orbit stops him hits a Cross Rhodes variation. Green Ant in and nails him with a lariat. Mantis with Cosmic Doom to deviANT. Frightmare on Elm St. to Arctic. Brainbuster by Missile to Frightmare. Quadruple suplex by Envoy & Green bringing Xtreme Force back in. Sit-Out Gourdbuster by Green on Missile for a nearfall. Frightmare takes out Xtreme Force with a dive. Full Nelson Slam by Mantis to Missile. Mantis goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb, but Missile undoes his mask and while fighting to hit the move, Mantis takes his mask off.
Ref sees this and DQ’s Envoy & Green as unmasking someone is a DQ in CHIKARA.
Winners: The Colony: Xtreme Force by DQ
Nest of Donst comes out. Tim Donst says that Aniversario is coming up. Last year, he lost his hair and his passion for pro wrestling. Donst forces Jakob Hammermeier to sit on Steve the Turtle’s back. Donst slaps Jakob and begins shaving his head. Gavin gets on the mic and tries to tell Jakob that he doesn’t need Donst. Jakob begins to resist the head shaving, but Donst slaps him multiple times. Jakob is angry, but does not go after Donst.
“The Inter-Galactic Luchadora” Saturyne vs. Tim Donst w/the Nest of Donst
Saturyne goes after a distracted Donst and hooks him quickly in the Rings of Saturyne, but Donst gets out. Headscissors by Saturyne, followed by a DDT. Saturyne goes for another DDT, but Donst drops her on the ropes. Donst chokes Saturyne with his shirt and powerbombs her back in the ring. Powerslam by Donst for a nearfall. Donst Cap, but Saturyne comes back with an armdrag. Nest of Donst cheers him on while Gavin cheers on Saturyne. Headscissors by Saturyne, followed by a dropkick. Donst yells at Gavin, but Saturyne with another dropkick.
Donst pulls Gavin onto the apron, but him being distracted allows Saturyne to roll him up for the victory.
Winner: “The Inter-Galactic Luchadora” Saturyne by pinfall (Roll-Up)
After the match, Donst brings Gavin in and lays him out with a DVD. Donst gets a mic and says that Gavin is worse than a wrestler because he likes to be in CHIKARA, while he is stuck there. For the first time, Gavin has nothing to say. Veronica hands Donst scissors and Donst cuts off more of Gavin’s hair. Donst begins eating the hair as referees help take out Gavin on a stretcher.
CHIKARA Grand Championship: “The War King” Eddie Kingston (c) vs. “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti
Kingston works over Touchdown early. Knee drop to the back of the head off the 2nd rope, but Kingston favors his leg. Touchdown takes advantage and chopblocks the leg. Touchdown begins working over Kingston’s injured leg. Touchdown with 2 splashes, then a 3rd to the leg. Touchdown catches a kick and jams Kingston’s leg into the mat. Kingston knocks Touchdown off the ropes and hits a clothesline. Short-Arm Clothesline for a nearfall. Touchdown avoids the Backfist and hits a spinebuster in a way that does damage to the injured leg. Top Rope Splash for a nearfall. Kingston avoids the Flea Flicker, but Touchdown with another spinebuster, however Kingston kicks out!! Touchdown with a half crab, but Kingston gets to the ropes. Kingston avoids a charge and hits a variation of Eddie Edwards’ Die Hard for a nearfall. Backfist to the Future, but Touchdown shakes it off!!! Flea Flicker DUMPING KINGSTON ON HIS HEAD, BUT KINGSTON AGAIN KICKS OUT!!! They go up top as Touchdown tries a superplex.
Kingston blocks it, then hits a Super Urnangi off the middle rope to retain the title.
Winner and STILL CHIKARA Grand Champion: “The War King” Eddie Kingston by pinfall (Super Uranagi)
3.0. cuts a promo about their title match next as Scott Parker says that they have been hurt before and it cost them the titles last time. But this time, they won’t let an injury keep them from retaining the titles.
Main Event for the CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas: 3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & “Big Magic” Shane Matthews) (c’s) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)
Matthews & Obaryion will start. Matthews takes control in the early going. Parker & Kodama in and Parker with an armdrag. Kodama sends Parker to the outside and hits a moonsault from the apron. Matthews & Obariyon back in and 3.0. take back over. Parker in and hits a suplex for a nearfall. Parker with a leg lariat to Obaryion. Kobald & Ophidian head out to ringside. Ophidian with a distraction allows Kobald to hot-shot Matthews. Batiri then drive Parker ribs first into the ringpost.
Obaryion hits the Rapture on Matthews to give Batiri the 1st fall.
The Batiri wins the 1st fall by pinfall (Rapture DDT)
Batiri double team Matthews as Parker is helped to the back. Matthews comes back with a suplex on Obaryion onto Kodama. Matthews & Kodama fight on the apron, but Obaryion hits the Rapture on Matthews ON THE APRON!!! Batiri want a count-out so they win both falls and the titles. Matthews just barely makes it back in before the 20 count. Obaryion heads up top, but Matthews sends Kodama into Obaryion, crotching him.
Matthews rolls up Kodama to even things up at 1 all.
3.0. wins the 2nd fall by pinfall (Roll-Up)
Batiri once again double-team Matthews. Gran Akuma comes out to help bring Parker back to the ring, but Kobald lays him out with a Spear!! Spinebuster by Matthews to Obaryion. Matthews with clotheslines to the Batiri and tags in Parker. Parker, who ribs are taped, wails away on the Batiri & Ophidian with right hands. Parker lifts up Kodama, but his ribs give way. Somehow though, Parker is able to hit Kodama with a Gory Bomb. Spear by Matthews to Obaryion, but Kodama breaks up the pinfall. Kodama goes for a rana, but Matthews counters into the Boston Crab. Obaryion lays out referee Bryce Remsburg with an elbow to stop him seeing the submission occur. Boston Crab to Obaryion and he taps, but Bryce is still out!!! Ophidian goes to spew mist in Matthews’ face, but he accidentally hits Kodama!!! Kobald goes for a Spear, but he accidentally hits Ophidian!!!
Bryce comes to and sees Obaryion still tapping to the Boston Crab and calls for the bell.
Winners of the 3rd fall and STILL CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas: 3.0.
3.0. celebrate their title retention with the crowd as we close the show.
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