WWE Monday Night RAW Results
Washington D.C.
April 1, 2013
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, JBL and Michael Cole
Report by: Dave Stephens of Wrestleview.com
There are 6 days until Wrestlemania 29!
Cena’s music hits and there is a monstrous roar of boos. He makes his way down to the ring and draws a comparison to the split reaction of his character with the split Houses of Congress. Cena takes a moment to put over The Rock as Champion. He says that last year he would have questioned Rock’s passion and drive and Rock would have made personal attacks against Cena. However, Cena says that the time for such shenanigans is over. Rock made good on his word and currently holds the WWE Championship. Cena puts Rock over further by calling him the greatest WWE Champion of all time. Cena proclaims that at Wrestlemania the Great One will fall. Rock’s time is up, and Cena’s time is now. The diatribe continues as Cena vows to dominate Rock at ‘mania. Cena is not pleased that Rock debuted a new Title and ended the era of Cena. At Wrestlemania Rock will experience failure. Cena says that every time the WWE is mentioned Rock will have to be reminded that the belt designed for him is being defended by Cena.
The crowd starts a “boring” chant causing Cena to pause. Cena says that he is not just The Rock’s equal, he is better than The Rock. When ‘mania is over, ‘the Champ is here’.
****Commercial****
3MB v. Big Show, Randy Orton & Sheamus
Orton and Slater start the match. Slater is whipped hard into the corner and then Orton hits a vertical suplex. Sheamus gets the tag and springs into the ring with a battering ram. Slater is whipped hard into the corner again and does manage to sneak in a couple of kicks and tags in McIntyre. Sheamus pummels Drew and slams him to the mat with a powerslam. Drew jumps from the second rope and connects with a dropkick. Mahal gets the tag and attempts a cover. Sheamus kicks out. Sheamus is backed into the corner and 3MB begins their onslaught. Slater gets the tag but is hit with an Irish Curse Backbreaker. Mahal gets the tag as does Big Show. Show flies around the ring and hits a strong shoulder tackle. Slater runs into the ring but gets caught in a chokeslam position. Drew leaps into the ring but Show catches him as well. Orton hits the RKO on Slater, Sheamus Brogue Kicks Drew and Show picks up the pinfall victory.
Winners: Show, Orton & Sheamus
After the match The Shield’s music hits. They make their way down towards the ring from the crowd. They stop halfway down the stairs and it’s revealed that Dean Ambrose has a microphone. Dean puts over their match Sunday and claims the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Rollins and Reigns join in with their own homilies.
The Shield will battle Orton, Sheamus & Show at Wrestlemania.
****Commercial****
Video: Swagger & Colter cut a promo on Alberto in front of the US Capital building
Matt Striker is in the back with Alberto Del Rio. He asks for his take on the video that just played. Rio says that Swagger has the right to say whatever he wants, but if Rio doesn’t like what Swagger is saying than he is going to take him out. Rio doesn’t know why Colter would challenge him to a match tonight, but he is going to knock the mustache off his face.
****Commercial****
Daniel Bryan w/ Kane v. Dolph Ziggler w/ Big E. Langston & AJ Lee
Ziggler twists the arm of Bryan and applies pressure. Bryan escapes and applies a side headlock. Ziggler runs the ropes and jumps into the air but Bryan catches him and tosses him into the turnbuckle. Bryan unloads with a series of kicks in the corner until the referee forces him to back away. Ziggler whips Bryan towards the corner, but Bryan flips out and follows up with a clothesline. Bryan looks for a submission but Ziggler grabs the ropes. Bryan grabs the leg of Ziggler and applies a double leg submission. Ziggler escapes and hits a dropkick. Cover, but Bryan kicks out. Dolph charges at Bryan, but Bryan traps him in the ropes and applies a modified Tarantula. Ziggler responds with a Fame-Ass-Er and a cover. Bryan kicks out.
****Commercial****
Back from the break the competitors are exchanging kicks. Ziggler leaps at Bryan, but Bryan moves out of the way and kicks him repeatedly in the chest. Bryan kicks Ziggler square in the jaw and then takes to the top rope. Bryan leaps for the headbutt, but Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler locks on a Sleeper, but Bryan is able to break free. Bryan cinches on a Sleeper of his own. Dolph falls backwards to break the hold. Ziggler hits a jackknife cover, but Bryan kicks out. Both men run the ropes and crash to the middle of the ring as both of their crossbodys hit at the same time. AJ runs over to Kane and begins to tease him. Langston bulldozes Kane when he turns around. Ziggler covers Bryan and narrowly picks up the win.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Back inside the ring Langston hits his finisher on Bryan. Kane charges into the ring and punches Ziggler. Langston is caught in position for a chokeslam but he powers out and lifts Kane up onto his shoulders. Langston hits his signature drop and then celebrates in the ring with Dolph and AJ.
Langston & Ziggler will take on Bryan & Kane for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania.
****Commercial****
Shawn Michaels’ music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. HBK says that you can’t have Wrestlemania without Mr. Wrestlemania. He loves this time of year. There are some great matches to look forward to this year. HBK says that when he heard HHH put his career on the line he started to have some doubts and questions about Hunter.
HHH’s music hits and he makes his way out to the entrance ramp. Water bottle in hand he takes a swig before walking towards the ring. HHH says that before they talk about this too much, he knows what he is doing. HBK says that he doesn’t know what he is doing. Shawn says that Hunter thinks their situations are similar, but they couldn’t be more different. HBK says when his career was on the line it was against someone who he respected, and who respected him in return. That is not the case for HHH. Lesnar fights for money and because he loves creating havoc. HBK tells HHH that at Wrestlemania he better kick Lesnar’s ass. Shawn tells HHH that he will be in his corner on Sunday. HBK says that if you’re not done with that we’ve got two words –
Lesnar’s music hits and he walks out onto the ramp with Heyman. Paul has a mic and is trying to keep Lesnar from going down to the ring. Heyman says that Lesnar has two words for HBK and HHH but it’s not the two words they were thinking of. Heyman says that whether HHH likes it or not, Brock is going to beat him into retirement on Sunday. HHH is going to have to learn to live with that disappointment. Heyman continues to goad the men in the ring. Heyman says that HHH should have walked away from this match, but now he won’t be able to walk away when Lesnar is finished. HHH will crawl away with his tail between his legs. Hunter will disappoint the entire WWE Universe. Lesnar has caused HHH to commit professional suicide.
Lesnar will face HHH in a No Holds Barred match at Wrestlemania.
****Commercial****
Stop the presses – Zack Ryder just got a televised entrance.
Wade Barrett v. Zack Ryder
Wade kicks Ryder in the gut a few times and then lifts him to his feet. Wade hits a vertical suplex and goes for a cover, Ryder kicks out. Zack gets in a bit of offense which includes a baseball slide. Ryder rolls Wade into the ring and then climbs to the top rope. Wade knocks him down and punches him repeatedly in the back. Ryder is caught with a knee to the gut and then covered. Ryder kicks out. Wade drops a standing elbow. Wade mouths off at The Miz who has joined in on commentary for this match. Wade drops another elbow and then knees Ryder a few more times. Wade pump kicks Ryder and sends him out of the ring. Ryder responds with a bit of offense including a few flying forearms. Ryder sets up Wade in the corner and connects with the Broskie Boot. Cover, but Wade kicks out. Wade pushes Ryder into the corner and then pulls him into the ring. Wade delivers the Full Hammer Elbow and this match is over.
Winner: Wade Barrett
Santino walks into Vickie’s office as she is talking to Brad Maddox. Santino says that he saw Vince get out of limo and he sounded very mad at Vickie and Brad. Santino says when Vince gets fired up like that it’s usually because someone is going to be fired. Santino looks to walk away but then walks back in and says April Fools. Santino laughs to himself until Vickie and Brad decide that he is about to have a match.
****Commercial****
Santino v. Mark Henry
Santino knows that he is outmatched and tries to figure a way to take down Henry. Santino grabs for the cobra but Henry hits him and then lifts Santino up for the World’s Strongest Slam. This match is over.
Winner: Mark Henry
Ryback’s music hits and he walks down to the ring. Henry has a microphone and tells Ryback to hold on. He says that he knows Ryback is mad about the bench press record, but that doesn’t give him the right to come down to the ring and threaten him. Henry says that they have a no contact clause until Wrestlemania. They both want to attack each other, but tonight all they can do is smile. Henry flashes his pearly whites and then looks to leave the ring. Ryback lifts up Santino and uses his body to push Henry out of the ring. Ryback then lifts Santino up overhead and tosses him at Henry. Ryback is laughing and says he didn’t touch Henry.
Ryback will face Mark Henry at Wrestlemania.
****Commercial****
Matt Striker is in the back with an urn wielding CM Punk. He asks Punk if he feels he is disrespecting the memory of Paul Bearer. Punk says that he doesn’t care; all he wants to do is get under the skin of Taker. Punk says that the difference between himself and Taker’s other opponents is that Punk is willing to do whatever it takes to beat Taker. Punk says that he doesn’t care what he has to do to beat Taker at ‘mania. Punk promises that after this ‘mania when people think about Wrestlemania they will be thinking about CM Punk.
Zeb Colter w/ Jack Swagger v. Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez
Rio eggs on Zeb and even holds his hands behind his back. Swagger is stalking the injured Ricardo on the outside. Zeb grabs one of Rio’s crutches. Swagger leaps at Ricardo and drops him to the ground. Rio tries to make the save, but Colter hits him with a crutch.
Winner via DQ: Jack Swagger
Del Rio is grounded for a few moments, but then is able to grab the crutch. Just before Rio can attack Swagger comes into the ring with Ricardo’s other crutch and he joins in with Zeb as they beat on the Mexican star.
****Commercial****
The Rock’s music hits and he soaks in 4 minutes of the crowd before finally speaking in the ring. Rock says that the connection between the People’s Champ and the People is the only reason why he is standing in the ring right now. Rock says that this Sunday isn’t about redemption; it’s about the will of the People. Rock teases a run for the Presidency. Maybe we’ll go from President Barack to President The Rock. He’ll start his inauguration speech with the words, “Finally The Rock has come back to Washington D.C.”.
Rock says Cena is saying the same things he was a year ago but last week Rock planted Cena with a Rock Bottom. Rock says that when he pins Cena on Sunday it will prove that Cena’s time isn’t now, it’s never. Rock is not going to pass the torch to Cena. This Sunday Cena is not just facing The Rock and the fans in attendance; he is facing the will of the millions. Rock lives for that connection and this Sunday at Wrestlemania Cena will not be able to defy the will of the People, and he will not be able to beat The Rock. If you smell what The Rock is cooking.
****Commercial****
Chris Jericho v. Antonio Cesaro
They lock up and Chris is pushed back towards the corner. Cesaro gives him a shrug and Jericho responds in like. Cesaro tries a leg scissors but Chris quickly escapes. Cesaro goes to a side headlock. Cover, but Jericho kicks out. Cesaro is whipped into the ropes and hit with a dropkick. Jericho hits a vertical suplex and goes for the cover. Cesaro kicks out. Jericho escapes a headlock but is head-butted by Cesaro. He climbs to the top rope, but Jericho shakes the rope and knocks him to a seated position. Chris unloads with a ten count punch and then hits a Frankensteiner. Cover, but Cesaro kicks out.
Fandango’s music hits and his curtain has been lowered. His female dancer comes out first and then they begin dancing. Jericho is distracted as the show cuts to commercial.
****Commercial****
Back from the break the commentators point out that Fandango is holding up numbers to grade the moves that Jericho is delivering. Jericho charges at Cesaro in the corner but Cesaro moves out of the way and Jericho crashes to the outside. Cesaro hits a beautiful swinging power slam. He yodels for a moment and then splashes Jericho. Chris responds with a couple of shoulder tackles and then climbs to the top rope. Jericho hits an axe handle and follows with a bulldog. Jericho scores the move a 4. Jericho hits the Lionsault and looks for the Walls of Jericho. Cesaro uses his strength to flip Jericho over with a Gutwrench Powerbomb. Jericho knocks down Cesaro and then hits Fandango with a baseball slide as he has made his way close to the ring. Jericho has Cesaro in the middle of the ring and locks on the Walls of Jericho.
Winner: Chris Jericho
As soon as the match is over Fandango charges into the ring to attack Jericho. Fandango takes a moment to pose as the fans chant, “You Can’t Wrestle”. Fandango climbs to the top rope and hits a leg drop before posing again. He grabs the head of Jericho and yells at him to say his name. Fandango is all fired up as the referee pulls him away. Fandango climbs to the top rope and hits another leg drop. Fandango stands over Jericho and then says his name, in case anyone watching didn’t know how to pronounce it.
****Commercial****
Funkadactyls w/ Brodus Clay & Sweet T v. The Bella Twins w/ The Rhodes Scholars
Naomi and one of the Bellas start the match off. Naomi hits the rear view but Bella takes control. The best part of this match is the commentary. Cole and JBL have a moment where they stop recapping and start laughing after Lawler drops a corny Bill Clinton joke. The snickering continues through the rest of this rough match. As Cameron and the other Bella brawl in the ring a fight breaks out on the outside between everyone at ringside. Cameron is rolled up and this match is over.
Winners: The Bella Twins
The Bella Twins & The Rhodes Scholars take on Ton of Funk & The Funkadactyls at Wrestlemania.
****Commercial****
The Undertaker’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He says that Punk decided to make this personal, so Punk is going to suffer. Taker says that beating Punk is not good enough. The disrespect that he showed Paul Bearer will bring Punk much pain. Taker says that the streak may end on Sunday but Punk will never live to talk about it.
The lights dim and druids make their way out onto the entrance ramp carrying torches. Taker seems surprised by their appearance. The arena is silent as chanting plays over the PA system. Taker watches on as the druids line up on the ramp. A man appears dressed as Paul Bearer and says, “ohh yes”. Taker exits the ring and walks up to the impersonator. Taker is furious and throws blows at the druids. Punk is dressed as one and attacks Taker from behind. The fake Bearer – perhaps Paul Heyman – tosses Punk the urn. Punk hits Taker over the back of the head with the urn numerous times. Punk says that it’s over. Taker will be 20-1. Punk puts his feet across Taker’s neck and then hits him with the urn a few more times. Punk unscrews the top of the urn and pours the ashes out and into his hand. Punk then throws the ashes at the face of The Undertaker.
CM Punk will face The Undertaker this Sunday at Wrestlemania with the streak on the line.
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David Stephens
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The Teacher’s Lounge (Sunday)
“The Teacher’s Lounge” is a weekly podcast archived every Saturday on the Wrestleview Radio Network featuring hosts David Stephens and “Mr. V” Anthony Valvo. The show reviews all of the news from the week, tosses out Gold Stars and Detentions, PPV previews and special guests. Past Interviews include: Colt Cabana, Hernandez, Sara Del Rey, CZW Owner DJ Hyde, Shane Douglas & more!