» On Friday, January 7, 2005 at 12:02 AM EST WWE Smackdown Results
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville, CT
Announcers: Michael Cole and Tazz
Report by: L. Anne Carrington of WrestleView.com
Here it is, the first official show of 2005. And for once, the show didn’t open with any promos, but with an actual match instead. Here is the lowdown on this week’s show:
Match #1: Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero
Eddie entered with an awesome low rider, followed by Rey and his “619 Cam.” getting a in a good shot Joy, who was ringside as well.
“You got me Rey,” Eddie seemed to be saying as the match begun, referring to last week's match between the two.
The two then locked up before Eddie got Rey into a hammerlock, which went into a head vise and an armbar. Rey then responded with a head scissors and arm drag onto Eddie. Rey then did a sunset flip on Eddie for the cover, which Eddie kicked out of.
Rey was then knocked down by Eddie, with Eddie riding Rey’s back. Rey got loose from the hold and put another head scissors to Eddie. Rey was then put to the mat by Eddie for the cover; Rey kicked out.
A hammerlock on the shoulder of Rey had Rey yelling out in agony. Eddie then pinned both shoulders of Rey to the mat, but Rey was able to break the cover yet again. Eddie caught Rey in a hold again, but this time, Rey was able to break it by getting his feet onto the ropes. Rey was then put upside down into a corner, and when Eddie went on the attack again, Rey flipped upward, sending Eddie into the steel post as the match went to a commercial.
The match continued of each contender going move for move, each one impressive. The first 619 that Eddie was set up for was missed when Eddie got out of the way.
Toward the end of the match, Rey jump up on Eddie's shoulders and Eddie threw him behind him into ref. Another ref bump but at least it was innovative. Eddie once again got the tag belt and lay it on Rey before lying on the mat feigning being knocked out, as he had last week. Rey then got up and put it on Eddie as the ref regained consciousness. Eddie was then busted by the ref, trying to hide the belt and grabbed it and went outside the ring. Guerrero kneeled down leaning on the ropes, pleading with the ref. This set up Rey's 619 but Eddie moved. He went for a brainbuster but Rey rolled him up for the win.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Backstage, Heidenreich was seen talking about being afraid of the casket. It turned out it had been Paul Heyman he’d been speaking with, who reassured him that he would take care of the stipulation "right now."
Carlito came out to the announce table with a clipboard in hand, which we would find out was a petition. He told Cole he wasn’t there to commentate, but to get a petition together to get rid of GM Teddy Long before disappearing to get what we would guess to be signatures from fans and staff workers.
Match #2: Cruiserweight Champion Funaki vs. Akio
This match was basically hard to follow on my part; it kept getting broken away from as Carlito was getting his signatures. What in the blue hell did THAT have to do with the match anyway?
Meanwhile, Akio and Funaki locked up in a corner, with Funaki delivering a kick to Akio. Akio then flipped Funaki; an arm drag by Funaki was responded by Akio getting in some slugs and putting Funaki to the mat for the cover; Funaki kicked out.
Carlito tried to get attention of the ref to sign his silly petition, but the ref would have none of it as Akio kicked the head of Funaki a few times before putting a sleeper hold on Funaki and going for the cover, which Funaki also kicked out of.
Funaki got in a hip toss; Akio responded with a back body drop on Funaki for another cover; Funaki kicked out. Funaki then knocked Akio to the mat for the cover, and Akio kicked out this time. Akio got a heel kick on Funaki and went for the cover; Funaki kicked out again.
The match then ended with Funaki getting the best of Akio with a swinging DDT.
Winner: Funaki
Aftermath:
Carlito approached tonight’s guest timekeeper Joy with the petition; when she refused to sign, he spit apple on her.
Backtage, Paul Heyman and Heidenreich conferred with GM Teddy Long concerning the casket match stipulation. Heyman said he wasn’t like Carlito; that Long was going a good job as GM. Long responded by saying that he had a show to run and for Heyman to get to the point. Heyman explained about what a casket involved and would give an opportunity for Long to drop the stipulation. Long responded that he would drop the stipulation if Heidenreich can beat Taker tonight, with it being handicap match with Heyman teaming with
Heidenreich, and if both win the match, they can have the stipulation of their choice. Heyman was about to spaz out when Heidenreich said that he would have Heyman’s back.
Kurt Angle was speaking with Luther and Jindrak and a couple of police officer when Amy Weber approached and needed to talk to Kurt in private. Once they were alone, Amy suggested that after the Rumble Angle may want to keep his options open and to come to her “private” locker room and discuss it further later.
Match #3: Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black
This was a “time challenge” match that Angle stipulated that either opponent would tap out or be pinned in under three minutes.
A very short match when Angle cracked the head of Black a few time and then got the best of Black with an ankle lock in 26 seconds.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Daniel Puder was backstage when Torrie and Jackie came up and introduced themselves (Another pointless segments, this time with Smackdown’s two resident dumb blondes. Yawwwwnnnn). Puder brought up the subject of how he’d won Torrie’s sex test and that she’d been on the cover of Playboy, which was cool, “if that was really her thing.“
Then he went on about Jackie sticking out a knee injury and winning T2 while begging her boyfriend to stay after cheating on him during Tough Enough 2, but now, she had been dumped by Charlie Haas. What goes around comes around, yadda yadda yadda. Jackie went to say something /*, but Torrie dragged her away, saying he “wasn’t worth it.” (My, some people certainly have a high opinion of themselves, don’t they?).
“Women,” Puder said, “they’re all alike….just after my money.” (Another one with a high opinion of themselves? I was certainly not impressed).
US Champion John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) in a “Battle Rap“
The segment opened with Cole in the ring. Cole then announced that it would be Cena vs. Suzuki next week in Tampa for the US Title.
Cena sported “Ruck Fules“ gear, while Suzuki was dressed in an Uncle Sam costume. Suzuki did some overly dreadful rapping, which I doubt even my cats could have understood most of it, much less me.
Cena then went into yet another silly rap, with some cliché gay references as Kenzo was looking lost. Cena then made some sexy references in his rap to Hiroko, with Hiroko looking like she wished the ring would open up and swallow her.
Kenzo babbled something /* before handing the mic to Hiroko, with her protesting at first. Hiroko then ripped off a couple of lines from Beyonce's "Crazy In Love."
Cena then called out three members of the No-Talent Bimbo Squad, which caught Suzuki’s attention. From there, the segment was totally boring, with more stupid ‘chain gang’ references.
Kenzo looked very interested now and approached one of the bimbos. Hiroko then jumped said girl, and as Cena went to pull Hiroko off Miss Airhead, Suzuki attacked him. Cena then made the counter attack as The Bimbo Squad scampered off.
Match #4: Tag Team Champion Rob Van Dam (w/Rey Mysterio) vs. Doug Basham (w/Danny Basham)
Doug and RVD locked up, with RVD put into a corner, where Doug right handed him. Reversals went back and forth between the two to the mat, then, up again, RVD grabbed the leg of Doug. Doug was then knocked outside of the ring into Rey, where a tussle ensued between the two.
Just as things were starting to really get underway, Rey was sent to the back by the ref.
Back in the ring, Doug went for the cover on RVD, with RVD kicking out. Both Bashams worked on RVD briefly, sending RVD kidney first into the apron. In the ring, Doug put a knee to the back of RVD a few times, followed by a shoulder stretch on RVD, before whipping RVD into the turnbuckle.
RVD knocked down Doug, followed by a kick to the jaw and going for the cover; Doug kicked out. A cross body, followed by a rolling thunder was made by RVD. In attempt to do another move, RVD’s leg was grabbed by Danny outside the ring.
While RVD was distracted by Danny’s move, Orlando Jordan handed something to Doug inside the ring. The ref got wind of something was handed to Doug, and a debate went back and forth between the ref and Jordan, allowing Doug to pull a switch with Danny, who rolled up RVD for the win.
Winner: Doug Basham (but not really)
Kurt Angle was backstage at the door of the locker room that appeared to be Amy‘s. He then went in as the segment broke to a commercial.
Once returned from break, Angle was waiting for Amy and made his way to the bathroom. When he realized the shower is on, he stripped down to his briefs and pulled the curtain open, only to find Joy cleaning up. Screaming, Joy ran from the room. Kurt chased her, still in his skivvies, trying to apologize when he came into Big Show. Pants up now, Kurt tried to explain what happened with Joy, but Show chased him to the ring, whacking Kurt around some. Jindrak and Luther soon followed in an attempt to save Kurt, but Show beat down all of them.
JBL, Jordan and Amy then walked to what was supposed to be Amy's door, only to reveal it had been Joy’s instead; obviously a move made by the sly image consultant to set up Kurt.
RAW Rebound:
Highlights from this week’s matches leading to the 6-man Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution this Sunday.
Backstage, Heidenreich was beating the wall when Heyman asked if he was ready. Heidenreich said he wasn’t afraid of Taker, but the casket. Heyman reminded him that if they won the match, they got to pick the stipulation.
Match #5: Undertaker vs. Heidenreich and Paul Heyman in a Casket Match
Taker entered the ring, never taking the eyes off Heidenreich the entire time.
Locking up, both had reversals back and forth before a side headlock and two takedowns on Taker was put by Heidenreich. Taker responded with a hip toss and an arm drag (unusual moves for this guy), and got some right hands and a body slam from Heidenreich after an Old School move by Taker was aborted by Heidenreich. Taker put some right hands to the sternum of Heidenreich before Heidenreich knocked him to the mat once again.
Taker now in a corner, he received more right hands from Heidenreich, with a smug Heyman outside the ring looking on. Taker then got the upper hand of sorts when he was able to responded with a few right hands of his own and a shot to the knee of Heidenreich and a takedown, putting Heidenreich into the top turnbuckle and successfully completing the Old School the second time around.
In the middle of the match, Taker raised his hand and the druids came out with two caskets. Heidenreich went totally nuts as Heyman attempted in vain to calm him down. Heidenreich then tagged Heyman, left the ring and went over the barricade, leaving behind Heyman to deal with Taker.
Heyman was then tombstoned by Taker and put in the coffin, with the lid slammed shut.
Winner: Undertaker
POST-SHOW NOTES:
This stuff with the ‘divas’ is becoming excessive and out of hand. There are too many pointless segments with these bimbos that could be used for more--or even longer--matches. It’s getting to the put I either put on the mute button, go to the kitchen/bathroom, or switch briefly over to CSI when these broads are on because it has gone from me just BARELY tolerating them to downright despising these purposeless segments on my screen week after week.
Wake up, WWE…we watch for WRESTLING, not to see a bunch of talentless, typical dumb models that couldn’t act their way out of a paper bag, save for Amy.
Usually I don’t say this, as much as I love the CW matches, I found tonight’s rather annoying with more shots on Carlito and that silly petition than the actual match. It’s a shame, because Akio has been quite impressive lately.
I just hope the Cena/Suzuki match next week is better than that awful rap-off was tonight.
Is it me, or has there been casket matches done already?
Next week, we come from Tampa, so until next time, enjoy wrestling.